Heard on the Moby Dick
by Tray D. Sheila
Summary: This are just some random crack questions Thatch asked Marco each day, starting shortly after he joined the Whitebeard Pirates. All questions are cracks from my tumblr account. Also, MaTch hinted.


**So this are something I did on my tumblr account last year and I've decided to upload it here. Or partly, as I will add something to it. All of the questions are as I've posted on tumblr. You can search for them in my search bar, just write: Heard on the Moby Dick. Oh my tumblr name? It's _thatchtheawesomecook_. I hope you'll have a laugh and if you got any ideas for other things Thatch could ask of Marco, let me know. **

**Marco:** OI!

 **Me:** Shh. Not now, Marco.

 **Disclaimer: One Piece and it's characters belongs to Oda Eiichiro. The story here belongs to me.**

* * *

Thatch had been on the Moby Dick for a few weeks and was getting accustomed to the life there and to the crew. One crew member in particular had his attention, Marco the Phoenix. His curiosity drove him to start asking this mysterious brother questions and this is how it ended for him.

Day 1

"So you're Marco and you're a Phoenix? Then why do you look like a pineapple?" Thatch asked curious, only to yelp in surprise, when asked man threw him over board.

A loud splash was heard and someone called out that Thatch had been thrown into the water and should be fished out.

Day 2

"Marco can I call you pineapple or birdy?" Thatch grinned at the other.

Marco glared at him, picked him up and threw him into the water. A crewman fished the soaking Thatch out.

Day 3

"Marco can I fly on you? You look like a great big fluffy birdy when flying and it looks so ..."

Thatch didn't get to finish, before he was thrown into the water again, Marco was not amused. Again someone saved Thatch from the cold water.

Day 4

"Oi Marco can you be my fluffy bird pillow?"

The crew sighed and a fishman fished Thatch out. This seemed to become a daily routine by now. Thatch asking Marco a stupid question and Marco throwing him into the water.

Day 5

"Oi Marco is it true you lay eggs?"

Thatch would most likely not learn in a while to not bother Marco with question like this, even if he was thrown into the water. Again.

Day 6

"Marco, can I call you emergency food?"

This time a ladder was thrown down, so Thatch could crawl up himself.

Day 7

"Are you a chicken or a turkey?" Thatch had studied Marco's form and was curious.

He crawled up the ladder someone automatically threw over the railing to him.

Day 8

"So are you attracted to female birds?" Thatch asked Marco out of the blue, as they were relaxing on deck.

Not even surprised anymore, Thatch shook his head, when he surfaced from the water, determined to make Marco answer one of his questions. He climbed up the ladder, ignoring the comment of this getting old.

Day 9

"Hey Marco, I've heard you got a nest instead of a bed."

Seems Thatch loves the sea a lot, after all he's been thrown into every day the past 9 days.

Day 10

""Hey Marco, what type of birds do Phoenixes mate with?" Thatch was really sincere and curious, but once more found himself in the water.

While the ladder was thrown over the railing, the crew started to take bets on how many tries Thatch would give before giving up.

Day 11

"So Marco, does Phoenixes have a mating season?"

Thatch didn't get why Marco refused to answer his questions and kept throwing him into the water. He was sincere and genuinely interested in getting to know Marco.

Day 12

"Marco, can I get some of your feathers for a pillow? I'm sure.."

The crew laughed, as they lowered the ladder to the soaking cook.

Day 13

"Marco, do you respond to other birds mating calls?"

By now the shipwrights have made permanent wooden ladder around the Moby Dick for Thatch to climb.

Day 14

"Marco, can you do the chicken dance better than anyone of us, because you're a big chicken?"

Thatch was from now on going to clean up after himself, whenever he got back on the ship, after Marco throwing him into the water.

Day 15

"Marco, are you a mother hen?"

The splash was now a common noise on the Moby Dick.

Day 16

"Hey Marco, do you do silly mating dancing?"

Thatch should by now know that these questions would send him into the water.

Day 17

"Do you eat regular food or birdseed?"

As cook he should actually know what Marco ate by now, but for some reason, getting on Marco's nerves was becoming a sport to Thatch.

Day 18

"Marco, is it true you're a female when transformed into a Phoenix?"

The betting kept going on. Some had lost, others were still in the game, all while Thatch got a daily sea bath.

Day 19

"So if you're a bird, does it means you're making a nest on the mast?"

Either Thatch liked the sea water or he just wanted to see how many bad bird jokes he could make with Marco, before the other just ignored him.

Day 20

"So how old are you Marco? 100? 200? 1000?"

Age was not a good topic either, as Thatch found himself in the cool water again.

Day 21

"Marco, can I brush you?"

Personal pampering was not on Marcos list of what he liked others did to him. Thatch mused when climbing up the ladder, water dripping from him.

Day 22

"Marco, if you eat chicken, is it cannibalism?"

Okay, joking about that was not fun to Marco, as the poor cook was soaked and lucky to not have caught a cold yet.

Day 23

"Marco, will you explode if you eat rice?"

To be fair, it was a reasonable question, as some birds did that and since Marco was partly a bird, Thatch was concerned about his health. So it was unfair he had been thrown into the water again.

Day 24

"Marco, is it true Phoenix mate for life? Does that mean you're a virgin?"

Well prying into his private life would give all a dive into the waves.

Day 25

"Oi Marco, do you taste like a pineapple?"

Okay by now the questions were getting ridiculous, yet the crew was still betting. How many times would Thatch endure being thrown into the water, before giving up on asking those questions? Or would Marco give in and just ignored Thatch?

Day 26

"Marco, is it true you're the Queen of all birds?"

See, Thatch was just getting ridiculous now, though some suspected Marco to want to see how Thatch took off his shirt.

Day 27

"Marco, have you heard the word?"

At this Marco only blinks.

"That bird is the word." ** _*_**

Seems that Thatch really liked the sea water.

Day 28

"Marco, is it true you sleep like a bird every night?"

He definitely either loved to shower in sea water or had a crush on Marco.

Day 29

"Oi Marco, I've heard the reason for us not having any Easter eggs are because you steal them all, believing they are your children."

Okay, maybe there were some truth to this, not that Thatch would ever know, as his ears were full of water and couldn't hear what Izo told him about this topic.

Day 30

"Neh Marco, is it true you can regrowth everything, even your family jewels?"

Maybe Thatch did have a crush on Marco, because it couldn't be the sea, as it was freezing cold now.

Day 31

"Oi Marco, do you bath like a bird or human?"

Did Thatch try to get Marco to shower with him, after his sea water bath?

Day 32

"Oi Marco, do you feel pain? Can I test it?"

Maybe you should get your head examined by the doc, Thatch. You know that all the falling into the water could have damaged it.

Day 33

"So when you're in your Phoenix form, do you speak birdish?"

Almost all on the crew have by now lost the betting, only Izo, Whitebeard and Haruta are still in the game. Thatch have now endured 33 sea water baths.

Day 34

"Marco, can I use you as bonfire?"

Even if they're on the beach, Marco threw him into the water and rumors has it that Marco has a kink for this.

Day 35

"Oi Marco, could I be a candidate for your mate?"

Marco still threw the cook into the water, so maybe it was flirting for them by now?

Day 36

"Oi Marco, is it true that you cry in your room every morning, because I make scramble eggs you and you think they're your death ..."

Okay whoever is feeding the cook with such suggestions is really enjoying seeing Thatch getting thrown into the water. Maybe someone else has this as a kink?

Day 37

"Have anyone seen the big blue turkey known as Marco?"

Maybe Thatch should use another nickname for his crush? Or does he really enjoy the flirting, if you can call it that? Maybe he's the one with the kink of getting thrown into the sea?

Day 38

"Can I hear your mating screech, Marco?"

Maybe Marco likes hearing Thatch's screeches, when he falls into the water?

Day 39

"Oi Marco, are those birdies your children?"

Is Thatch jealous or has he hit his head too many times on the water?

Day 40

"So do we roast Marco to get turkey for ..."

We will never know, as Thatch will drink sea water forever if he finishes the question.

Day 41

"Hey Marco, if I wrap you up in a blanket, do I then have a birb burrito?"

That was indeed a good question, though Thatch still earned a dip into the water.

* * *

 _ *****_ From Family Guy: add: /watch?v=2WNrx2jq184 to youtube

 **Well that's all I got for now. I know that most are so ridiculous, but don't tell me Thatch wouldn't have asked all these questions at some point.**

 **And yes I hint to shipping those two, but you'll never know if they do end up together or not. It's just crack and nothing else.**

 **Marco:** Don't you dare give him/her more ideas for questions to ask me, yoi.

 **Thatch:** Hey, there was a betting going on? Who won?

 **Izo:** Who say we're done betting?

 **Haruta:** Good lord those were times.

 **Whitebeard:** My favorite was day 35.

 **Marco:** Oyaji!

 **Thatch:** Hmm I might have meant it. *winks*

 **Marco:** *mumbles and leaves, cheeks tinted red*

 **Izo:** Oh he might take it seriously Thatch. You better make up your mind.

 **Thatch:** Who said I haven't? Well I should think of more questions. See ya *leaves*

 **Me:** You're welcome to help the cook. Who knows where it leads?


End file.
